There are many different behavioural styles used in influence attempts. These include being friendly and sociable, displaying sensitivity and using assertive or aggressive manners. Tact and diplomacy also have their place, as does the ability to hide or disguise your true feelings.
We are each more likely to be influenced in the manner in which we prefer to influence other people. Successful influencers have a keen level of self-awareness of the styles that they prefer to use and understand which of these are likely to be most effective with a particular individual. The ability to adapt styles to suit the circumstances is a hallmark of the greatest influencers.
Take action on this secret…
- Think through which styles you tend to favour. Are you more inclined to be assertive or friendly? Hide your feelings or share your emotions?
- Recognise that it is okay to be who you are. Make sure you appreciate the benefits and limitations of who you are.
- Try to notice the usual influencing style of other people around you. How are they different from or similar to you?
- Identify someone you want to influence to move forward on your goal. What can you say about their preferred style?
- Find ways in which you can adapt your style to suit theirs more closely.
- Exercise this adaptation and reflect on what happens.
- Take a look at our Influence Profile.
And remember, there is no perfect style, only the one which works. Being aware of what style is appropriate and adapting your style to suit is a skill which will serve you well.
