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Releasing Your Inner Control Freak

April 9, 2025 by Colin Gautrey

Let’s be honest.

If you’re a high performer, you’ve probably said it:

“It’s easier if I just do it myself.”

“No one else will get it right.”

“I can’t afford to let this slip.”

It sounds smart. Responsible. Even noble.

But over time, that attitude becomes a trap.

A cage.

A bottleneck of your own making.

The truth? Your inner control freak isn’t helping you lead.

It’s just helping you stay stuck.

 

The Hidden Cost of Control

Control feels powerful… at first.

  • You stay ahead.
  • You catch mistakes.
  • You keep the wheels turning.

But behind the scenes?

  • You’re exhausted.
  • No one around you grows.
  • You’ve built a system that only works if you never stop.

That’s not leadership.

That’s survival.

 

Why We Cling So Tightly

Control often masks fear:

  • Fear of failure
  • Fear of judgment
  • Fear of being let down

So we grip harder.

Micromanage.

Over-function.

Carry more than we should.

It feels like strength.

But it’s usually a lack of trust—especially in ourselves.

 

Real Leadership Lets Go

Let’s be clear:

Letting go doesn’t mean lowering your standards.

It means:

  • Being clear on the outcome—but flexible on the method
  • Delegating with trust, not with doubt
  • Allowing people to rise, stumble, and grow

The strongest leaders don’t control everything.

They create conditions where control isn’t needed.

 

Want Freedom? Teach. Don’t Take Over.

If your instinct is to jump in, fix, manage, take charge… pause.

Ask:

  • Have I made the expectations clear?
  • Have I trained or just told?
  • Am I trying to stay safe… or trying to lead?

Then step back—just a little.

Enough to see what people are capable of without you in the way.

 

Final Thought

You don’t have to fire your inner control freak.

Just give it a different job.

Let it help you set direction.

Let it help you design structure.

But don’t let it micromanage the journey.

Leadership isn’t about doing everything yourself.

It’s about getting the right things done—without clinging.

 

 

 


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