“If you do what you’ve always done…”
“You cannot solve a problem with the same level of thinking.”
When immersed in a difficult situation with a difficult person, hard-coded behaviours and emotions reign supreme. So, how on earth can you think, feel or act differently to achieve a different outcome?
Try this unusual exercise, and make sure to invest energy and effort to make sure you answer these questions are fully and frankly as you can.
Thinking about a difficult person you have to deal with:
- How do they make you feel?
- What is their real agenda?
- How do you think they feel about this situation?
- How would you like to feel about this situation?
- How would you like THEM to feel about this situation?
- Now, what can you do to bring about a change?
Still struggling on the last question?
Bonus exercise. Repeat the exercise above in the third person. Imagine you are an independent observer of the situation. What is unfolding? Then answer these same questions (suitably modified).
For example, imagine I was considering dealing with a difficult person called Raj:
- How does Colin feel about this situation?
- What is Raj’s agenda?
- How does Raj feel about this situation?
- How would Colin like to feel about this situation?
- How would Colin like Raj to feel about this situation?
- What can Colin do now to bring about a change?
Be diligent with this, imagine yourself from the outside, looking down on you and your antagonist. Talk to yourself about it. Many find this approach helps them to more easily consider the problem objectively.
To change a difficult situation means something or someone has to change.
Unless you change, you are reliant on someone or something else to change – you have put your fate outside of your control.
What will you choose to do now?
The Gautrey Influence Blog
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