Long ago I met a woman to proclaimed:

"Judge me by the work I do, on my merits."

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A key aspect of influence is encouraging people into a state in which they are more likely to listen to what you have to say. As an ethical influencer, you need people to pay attention, listen well and understand what you are asking them to do. Then they can think through the consequences and make clear decisions that will hopefully work in your favour as well. What works against this is anything that distracts them, and those of you who have attended one of my workshops will know, this can quite easily happen if your style of influence is different from theirs. Instead of listening to what you have to say, they are distracted by the way you are saying it – your style. Read More

You may be a leader, but are you leading? Many in leadership positions, even when they have been trained in leadership, continue to manage. Why? Because that is what their bosses are demanding of them. While leadership may be espoused from the top, in many organisations it is not valued. A little like all those company values hung on the wall, written but not behaved – do what I say not what I do. Read More

Harry is just leaving his job, without another one to go to. This is the second senior position in a row that he has left because he was unable to influence his seniors. Despite being exceptionally good at his job, perfectionist, avid learner, he still has not been able to get the success he believes he should. Hearing Harry's story led to some interesting thoughts about what can/does go wrong in relationships that I thought would be worth sharing with you today. Read More

When you discover somebody's been talking behind your back, providing negative feedback to maybe the senior management or another group of people that is putting you at a disadvantage, it's very understandable that you're going to be upset. You might be angry, frustrated, really annoyed with that individual, particularly if they deny that they've done it and you know for sure that they have. Having those emotions, experiencing those emotions is not necessarily going to help you at this stage. A number of things to consider. Read More

Group psychology has a massive unseen influence on behaviour, the way things get done, and the way decisions are made, aka, the politics Someone recently told me that “Politics is frowned upon here.” I probed “What exactly do you mean?” What followed was a number of examples such as brown-nosing, button-holing before meetings, self-promotion. “Okay, who are these people who frown on the politics?” Read More

Most people prioritise improving the quality of a relationship when a problem hits them in the face. This is the most difficult time of all to build trust and openness, because the guard is up, and perhaps, so are the heckles. On the other hand, hard as it may be, this could be exactly what the two of you needed, a big wake up call! And, if you're diligent, tenacious and careful, the prospects are good that the relationship after things have been resolved will be much better than it was before. Read More

A truly fascinating discussion about success with a high-ranking military officer. He has a long track-record of incredible achievements. He was reading at 3 years old. Helping teacher to teach others to read at 4 ½. From a very early age he acquired the belief that there was no limit to what he could achieve. He has always achieved what he set out to achieve. Somewhere around his early teens, he caught the idea that he could master any topic within 6 weeks. That has become another core belief that has served him well. Nature or nurture? Tough one, jury still out. Family history Read More

You may well have the feeling that your boss doesn’t quite trust you. Perhaps they:

• Insist all communications go through them rather than direct.
• Will not allow you to engage directly with her boss.
• Do not delegate decisions, however small, to you.
• Insist on constant updates from you – micro managing.
• Do not allow you to attend meetings on their behalf.

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