When you are in a difficult or significant situation, it is natural to feel powerful emotions, either positive or negative.
What I notice, in myself and others, is that the intensity of these emotions grows along with one’s attachment to a particular outcome.
If we are excited by the prospect of landing a new job, we invest our emotions into the positive outcome of getting the job. Yet lurking behind the scenes, oft times, is the fear of failure.
Or you feel the anger and frustration of a relationship crisis and desperately worry about alleviating those feelings by revolving the problem. The desire to re-experience the good feelings of harmony can also be glimpsed within the turbulence.
For some this presents a rollercoaster of emotions that hinder effective decision-making and execution.
Instead of permitting these emotions to distract you, aim to set them to one side by neutralising your feelings about the outcome. Not to the extent that you become ambivalent or apathetic, but enough to loosen your attachment to a single outcome.
For example, you have a big argument with a friend. Naturally you’d want to continue the relationship and restore the friendship, or even make it better than before. If so, great.
But, if you cannot achieve that, ok, no problem. The friendship wasn’t perfect anyway, and the end of it will give you more opportunity for new friends to enter your life.
Alternatively, you have the chance of landing a big deal.that would make you a fair bit of money, which would be great. But, if it doesn’t happen, so what? With the time you save you can invest in networking or learning that could position you for even bigger deals.
Stretching it to the extreme, can you use your imagination to get the alternative to be even better than your original desired outcome?
No easy task I’ll admit, but if you can rationalise down the emotional attachment to a particular outcome, you’ll find yourself far more capable of achieving your favoured outcome, or perhaps, finding an even better alternative.
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