A few weeks ago, a workshop participant used a wonderful phase that got me thinking. During a breakout session she shared her attitude when listening to stakeholders.
What she does is “listen to learn.”
This attitude stimulates a powerful feeling in the other person. When you “listen to learn” you are open to hearing what they are saying and why they are saying it. You are not sitting in judgment, nor with preconceived notions about what is being said. You are demonstrating an open mind, respect and care. This will encourage them to share more.
This attitude does not mean you have to agree with what is being said or even accept what they are saying. It is just that you are receptive to understanding fully the other’s position.
Once you’ve truly understood, and checked your understanding with them, then you can share your own position.
People love to be understood, and most are mature enough to know that not everyone will agree with them.
Have you ever noticed someone “listening to correct” or “listening to sell?” Don’t you get a very different feeling then? All they are looking for is an angle to box you into a corner.
How are you listening to people?
Related to Listening to Learn
- The Eighth Principle of Persuasion
- Stakeholder Buying Process: Where Are They?
- The Ethics of Influence: Five Rules to Live By
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