Colin Gautrey

Strengthening Trust and Credibility

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The key to strengthening trust is to understand what it is, how it works and what you (and others) do to maximise trust, or bring it crashing down! Trust is a complex concept which can easily be simplified into the extent to which you can rely upon someone (or something) else. Will they do what you expect them to do? Can you rely on their word? Can you predict what they will do in a given set of circumstances? There are also various different levels of trust. You may be able to rely Read More

Exercise: What Does Trust Mean to You?

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Given the complexities of trust, especially when it comes to relationships, it is important to get a very clear fix on exactly what it is and what it means to you. This exercise will help to equip you to be able to build trust more effectively, and begin to understand the limitations of trust building. A key part of this personal development is becoming more trustable.

Think of someone whom you trust…

Exercise: Helping You to Build Trust More Effectively

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If you have read the other articles here about trust, you should have a pretty good grasp now of what trust is, how it works, and how things can go wrong. Now it is time to make sure you are integrating this into your own world. This exercise is intended to challenge you to become more aware of trust in your work, and also, perhaps most importantly of all, move you towards building greater levels of trust in your relationships. Read More

Extra Thoughts on Building Trust in a New Relationship

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If you want to build trust, take care of these seven dangers which could hinder or even destroy your attempts to develop trust in a relationship. To get the most from this, we are assuming that you have already read Building Trust in a New Relationship and also the simple Trust Building Example.
  1. Trusting Too Soon. If you place a great deal more trust in someone than they would reasonably expect, they are highly likely to close up and trust you less. This is particularly so if they come from the “distrust until they have to” end of the spectrum. The bigger the gap, the bigger the discord. Would you trust someone who gushes forth their innermost thoughts within five minutes of meeting you? If you have a tendency to do this ― don’t! Do whatever you can to hold yourself back.
  2. Read More

Trust Building Example

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In Building Trust in a New Relationship, we talked about four steps of trust building.. At a high level, that’s how it works. What we consider here is an example of how this might work and, more importantly, illustrating the trail of thoughts which might go through the minds of those involved.

Step 1: Trust Orientation

Imagine what it would be like if two people started a relationship coming from either end of the spectrum ― one person trusting too much (let’s call him Sanjay), and the other too little (Sally). Sanjay will enter the relationship full of optimism and positive expectation, looking for the clues that prove he is right ― Sally is someone who is highly trustable. On the other hand, Sally will enter with a large amount of suspicion, perhaps fuelled by the core value that “most people are out to get you, it’s a dog-eat-dog world”. It also happens Read More

Building Trust in a New Relationship

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The importance of trust in building long-term relationships should be evident to all. A few months back, I suggested a few ways of Building Trust Beyond the Obvious and here I want to step back a little and explore how trust begins when we meet someone for the first time. Understanding the process by which trust emerges can enhance the possibility that you will get it moving a little quicker ― trust doesn’t have to take a lifetime to build. Assuming you have already read Trust and Integrity Made Simple, you will understand that both parties will have mutual feelings of trust, and that these levels may vary. The best relationships have broadly equal feeling of trust on both sides. Any serious imbalance is going to cause problems, sooner or later. Read More

Building Trust Beyond the Obvious

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Over recent months we have been engaged in debates about trust on many platforms. This has convinced me even more of the benefits of focusing on building trust in relationships. On workshops, I often ask the question, "How can you build greater trust in your relationships?" The response is usually fairly predictable and comes down to doing what you say you're going to do, telling the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth — and several similar ideas. Yet, I think we can go beyond this. Here are a few ideas... Read More

Trust and Integrity Made Simple

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Trust and integrity are two intertwined concepts that usually crop up when I start talking about influence. Although interconnected, they are different, and a clear understanding of them can help you to build influence more quickly. However, despite the temptation to dive into a philosophical debate, you can simplify these greatly and then get moving again with your influence. Trust is the degree to which you can predict someone or something. When it comes to people, what you are assessing is how well you can predict what they will do or, how they will react, to a given situation. Will they do what they say they will do? Will they keep your secrets? Will they tell you the truth? Read More

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