Time and again we meet clients who are stuck. One recently was experiencing the micro-management of a stakeholder who should have had better things to do. This attention to minutiae and constant interference was leaving my client feeling frustrated, undermined and even at times as if her competency was being called into question. While aware of her need to stay in control of the situation and appear not to be reacting, she also wanted to assert influence in her relationship with her stakeholder — but, to be blunt, she couldn't afford to alienate him! This episode reminded me of the importance of thinking about what is driving people to do what they do. Behind every behaviour we adopt there is a pay-off factor for us. I asked my client — "What is the pay-off to your stakeholder in behaving this way?" She quickly realised that it was probably that he needed to fill his time and appear to be busy at a time when staff cutbacks in his organisation were in full swing. In effect, his attention had moved from his strategic role into something highly operational — possibly back into his comfort zone. With this insight, my client soon came up with a range of influencing options to start getting her relationship back onto the right footing again, without needing to be critical or expose the motivations behind her stakeholder's behaviour. Read More

My specialism is power and influence in the workplace, and I know that all of the tools and techniques I use can apply well in all types of organisation. This week, on a workshop, two of my delegates demonstrated this to great effect! Niral is having problems with an overbearing (bullying) mother-in-law. Their life together is being dominated by her controlling ways and it is starting to have a very damaging effect on them — even though they don't live with their mother! By getting more specific about her influencing objective Niral was able to quickly see that her mother-in-law was an adversary and her husband was hovering in the grey zone between opponent and ally. Niral quickly realised that she had been directing her focus and energy in the wrong direction. Instead, she needed to get her husband on side. She left re-energised and re-motivated by her new influencing campaign! Read More

Yesterday at the airport, I had an interesting experience of domination which later provided much food for thought — and interesting parallels with workplace domination.. In a queue, the guy behind me was huge. Those who've met me know that I am not exactly small, but this man was massive, at well over six feet and I'd imagine around 30 stone (190 kg). As we stood in line, he used his bulk to begin intimidating me with his physical presence. Quite why I can only guess, but there were many little nudges from his belly, horse play with his tribe of minions and even the occasional breathing down my neck. Read More